If you’ve been watching me lately then you have seen that I have been doing a lot of writing …IndieHipHopNation and recently a natural hair magazine that I am now apart of; so I’ve managed to keep myself busy.
And if you have been reading my personal blog here then you know that I have been telling the story of my journey…mostly the downward experiences, sorry I don’t have the upward part of this story as of yet…still hoping and praying for it.
But I wanted to speak on something today because although, I have been writing..I’m in a cage…
Where I have fought for 18 months to get out…and now that I think about it.. maybe that’s just it..I’ve been fighting instead of allowing God to handle it.
See I know that I’ve been in my own way a few times..because I’m a workaholic by any means I have to see things through..by working extremely hard putting my well-being to the side..including “self” and simply focus on work. That’s what I do..I put myself in a place where all I care about is work….
***Mental Note*** I consider the Phoenix to be my spiritual animal especially because I see to rise up****
One blog turns into 20..keeping up with my social media post, contributions, emails, phone calls, text..research. I get to the point were even if I am hanging out..I still find a way to work or continue to think about work.
It never fails..and with my living situation I’ve learned to be as creative as I can in a negative environment…
Not easy doing that here..sometimes an idea comes and I find myself quickly catching it before its consumed into the air in here…and there are other times where I can barely think of an idea. A negative ..trapped environment is a suffering place for an artists…I thank God for just being alive in here sometimes…
This cage..feels tight and the walls close in…my health fights..sleep fights…mind races..doing its best to lead me in another direction. Wish I had the powers like that guy had on the movie “Jump” that way I could just focus on a place and teleport there..
My cage does have bars but at least I am able to operate behind them…I can grow, learn, and be myself as much is allowed it’s just the moment that I get to truly spread my wings that I look forward to the most….
I know the faith I have says this reality will end soon…that my dreams will come true..I believe that …
Don’t let this cage be around me much longer…i pray you are on the way with the keys to unlock these doors.